Official Position on Leg Warmers

nerkles July 31st, 2005

  • Leg warmers always look stupid on everyone.
  • If you own leg warmers and you are not a dancer, you must burn them immediately. You are advised to remove them from your legs first.
  • Fellow humans should tolerate leg warmers for the well-being of dancers, while the dancers are working in a dance-related environment, but under no other circumstances.
  • Non-dancers must wear pants or other suitable non-leg warmer garb to keep their legs warm.
  • If you are not actually a dancer, you have no excuse, and by the way, you look like a total buffoon in those things.

Addendum

  • The burning of leg warmers acquired for non-dance purposes is an essential step. If you give them away or donate them to a resale shop, they may fall into the hands of a non-dancer who is unaware of the few legitimate uses for leg warmers.

11 Responses to “Official Position on Leg Warmers”

  1. # Kon 01 Aug 2005 at 7:51 am

    Can we inflict additional punishments on people who insist on wearing teeny short skirts, leg warmers and flip-flops in the winter when it’s snowing & freezing out? Trust me, it’s a fashion fhenomenon that is real and I just don’t get!

  2. # hooliganon 03 Aug 2005 at 12:53 pm

    Hey; this is someone you used to know in the Poconos, ESU circa 1994. I think my friends and I used to annoy you a lot. Anyhoo, please stop by our friend Gary Drechsel’s website, http://www.godrex.com (that’s Go, Drex!), and visit. [Gary was at ESU, then, too, and had a place with Scott Gocek on Lower Main.] I post there sometimes. Word. Sincerely, Heather McLean

  3. # nerkleson 05 Aug 2005 at 2:42 pm

    hooligan:

    whoo! i love hearing from old friends! i’ll go check out the site. thanks for sayin’ hi!

  4. # swbon 02 Nov 2005 at 4:53 pm

    Holy crap. Is this where everyone that was around ESU in the mid-90’s is supposed to post something? Good to know that at least some of you are alive. Wow! No kidding, For some reason Isaac’s name popped in my head and I was led here. I hope all are well. Nathan Balum

  5. # Heatheron 31 Jan 2006 at 4:52 pm

    Now what has to happen next, of course, is to actually post a mid-90’s ESU blog. We’ll call it, “Here’s what I heard…” and fill it with random hearsay about where everyone is.

  6. # Heatheron 02 Feb 2006 at 10:09 am

    Well, I did it. So here it is: http://lastiheard.blogspot.com. Word to yer moms.

  7. # Tiny Danceron 08 Mar 2007 at 12:34 pm

    While my name is Tiny Dancer, I myself am not a dancer. I completely disagree with your position on the leg warmer. I find that all people not just dancers need to keep their legs warm. I am shocked that you would discriminate against the non-dancer and keep them from their fundmental need to have warm legs.

  8. # nerkleson 08 Mar 2007 at 1:16 pm

    Who needs leg warmers when you can have pants? Pants keep your whole leg warm, not just part of it.

    You might get off on a technicality if your last name really is “Dancer.” I will consult my garment attorney and let you know.

  9. # nerkleson 08 Mar 2007 at 1:20 pm

    Ok, I just got off the phone with my garment attorney and she says that your name allows you to own leg warmers despite your non-dancer status. However, you are still prohibited from wearing them outside of a dance-oriented environment.

  10. # katie k.on 27 Apr 2007 at 6:11 pm

    Do you have a position on canine legwarmer usage?

    http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/04/26/flash_dachshund.jpg

  11. # nerkleson 14 May 2007 at 8:34 pm

    Yes, and it is NO, NO, NO.

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